There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
