More tranny stories later!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
