I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
