You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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