we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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