Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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