it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
