look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
