yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
