I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Randomize
