Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
