I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
