That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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