Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize