Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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