True but thats because hes a fetus.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize