jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
