I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
