trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
