Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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