she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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