no. you can't hotbox the world.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
