So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
