id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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