I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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