smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize