I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
