I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she smelled like a LAN party
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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