Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
