Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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