whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
