You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
