we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
