I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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