I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
