Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
