morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
