HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
