I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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