did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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