it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
