I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
