nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just google imaged poop.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
