Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
