We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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