Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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