So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
