He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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