I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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