so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
