i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
