after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
