Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
