Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
