Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
