Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
