We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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