thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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