well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
