Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well I just put wine in my tea
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize