The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
