yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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