just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Boobs speak an international language.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize