somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
