If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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