your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
