New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
