So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
