Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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