we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
be right there i have to get my cape
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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