She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
