What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
