guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
