You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
